Thursday, November 6, 2014

My boy.

There have been several moments over the last few months that have made me incredibly proud of Isaiah and the person he is becoming.

Like last week when I took him out for a special date. Just him & I. At the end of the meal he received two cookies. All on his own he decided to save one cookie for Charlotte. So thoughtful and completely unexpected (by me). 

Or last night, when he took Charlotte aside to teach her to write the alphabet. And once she mastered that skill to Isaiah's liking, he moved onto short words. He was so incredibly patient with her. Telling her she could do it and encouraging her to not give up. It was truly heartwarming as the mom to watch.

And I can't tell you how many times over the last month or two I have asked Isaiah to help Hannah...because bending down to her level and/or picking her up is getting harder & harder these days! And even when he doesn't want to help her, he does it anyway. 

He is so patient and kind with his little sisters and me (most of the time!). It is incredible to watch. Especially in light of the fact that there have been many, many, many times over the past (nearly) two years in which I have considered myself a failure in regards to mothering Isaiah. I have cried too many tears of frustration and fear over my first born child. I have been driven to my knees in prayer. Often times prayers of desperation and hopelessness. I have felt like I was losing him and his trust. I have felt embarrassed and confused over my eldest child more times than I care to admit. But recently that has changed. Recently I am sitting back in awe of him. Watching him blossom into this kind and caring human being. Seeing him flourish and thrive despite all of my shortcomings as a mother. 

And I am so very thankful for the boy he is becoming. These days my prayers are filled with thanks and praise. Because despite my failings as a mother (and I have MANY) he's turning out alright. And I love him like crazy. I am lucky to have him. God knew what he was doing when he put us together as mother and son.

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