Thursday, September 3, 2015

tired.

I know. I know. I said the blog was dead. Or at least mostly dead. But there is just one teensy tiny little thing I want to record. And it's this:

I'm tired. 

I'm tired all the time. 

Which doesn't seem worthy of writing down. But here's the thing, right now I am perpetually tired. I feel like a zombie most of the time. I'm so sluggish and tired I can't imagine NOT being tired. But I'm hoping this is temporary and I can look back and say "I'm so glad I made it through that terrible tired phase"! So I'm writing it down. Because I think that if I do move past this phase my mind will block it out and I won't even remember to be grateful for my none tired state. (And yes! Logical-not-at-all-irrational IS my middle name.)

Oh and this is NOT a I'm-sad-and-depressed-and-just-want-to-sleep-and-hide-from-my-life-all-the-time kind of tired. I know because in the past three months since residency started I have experienced that kind of tired. Nope that's not what is happening now. Thankfully I've come to accept this life and this town. And I'm okay with both of them. I'm not sad and hiding anymore. I'm just tired. 

Very, very tired.  And I'm beginning to think this is my new normal. Like it or not. I knew residency would deprive my husband (the actual resident) of sleep. And I expected him to be perpetually tired. And he is. I guess I just didn't expect to be so tired myself. 

Hello residency. My name is exhausted wife of resident. It's nice to meet you. I'll just go have my second Pepsi of the day and try not to fall asleep on my couch while my children play.