Friday, November 28, 2014

an un-thankful night.

It is 4:30 AM. The morning after Thanksgiving. Except I haven't really slept so it feels like it is still Thanksgiving. Just one long never-ending day.

And I am not feeling very thankful. 

Instead I am feeling irritated. And frustrated. And tired. And crabby. And uncomfortable. A little angry too. Oh and hungry too. Basically anything BUT thankful. 

Since midnight when Joe and I turned off the movie we were watching and called it a night, Joe has been asleep. Or so I assume based upon his breathing pattern. And I have been trying to sleep. But it has proved futile. Mostly because I am surrounded by small, needy children. 

The two year old has weaseled her way into our bed. And she insists upon having her arm across my head and leg across my belly. Which I could tolerate except, the four year old is on the floor next to me because she needs her faucet of a nose wiped every 15 minutes. (I wish I were exaggerating. I am not. Every 15 minutes for the past four and a half hours she has woken up whimpering until I wipe her runny nose.) And when I roll over (ever so slowly thanks to my achey hips) the two year old cries and kicks as if I am leaving her FOREVER. It's ugly. And painful. And it has wiped every thought of thankfulness from my mind. Ironically. 

And now it is 5 AM. And I don't know where I am going with this. But for the first time EVER I wish I were out shopping the middle-of-the-night Black Friday deals. Then maybe I would feel like my night has been productive. Not that wiping the nose of a four year old (who is completely capable of wiping her own nose) isn't a good use of my time as well...that totally counts as being productive, right?!

I tried to find solace in Facebook but that proved to be guilt-inducing...

Because I am not quite there yet. I am still stuck in the first paragraph. Minus the "Thank you Jesus" part. I am just feeling stretched and messy and chaotic. The thankfulness component isn't there quite yet. It's been wiped out of me momentarily...


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