I killed GNO.

Not as in "I rocked it". No. I mean I killed it. Like really, really killed it. In case I wasn't clear enough, I killed it before it had a chance to start. It was horrible. And horrifying. Luckily for me (and you) there is no photographic evidence of the evening's events. I will just have to do my best to describe my night. However, be warned, if vomit makes you uneasy STOP reading now. I mean it just stop. 

Weak stomachs, did you stop yet? You should. 

So where to begin? As you know I had a lovely train ride of {relative} peace and quiet into the city. A brisk walk through the city brought me to the hotel doorstep of my dear friend (and her entire family...they came to town for a wedding...not just to see me. Thank goodness otherwise that would have been a huge disappointment!). Upon my arrival I learned we had a groom's dinner in the suburbs to attend before our Girls Night was to begin. I was fine and dandy with this plan. I mean it did include a free dinner after all:)

[Complete irrelevant tangent: On my walk to the hotel one man hit on me. My response? I laughed at him. Right in his face. The idea of someone hitting on me seemed so ludicrous.]

The groom's dinner was going splendidly. I met the groom. And the bride. I was offered many drinks. All of which I declined except water. [I thought I had learned my lesson from my last Girls Night. Ha.] I enjoyed appetizers...mainly crackers and cheese dip. The house was warm, cozy and inviting. The small talk was delightful. There was just one small problem. There was NO sign of an actual dinner. And I was hungry with a headache. Both of which were making me terribly nauseous. 

By the time the meal began I knew I needed to eat but wasn't sure I would be able to. So with great caution and slight fear, I slowly ate two bites of my burger. Eating that burger was the best and the worst feeling at the same time. When those two bites threatened to come up my friend suggested a walk outside in the cold night air. She's a genius! It worked. I then managed another few bites and was feeling brave enough to swallow a few ibuprofen for the headache. 

[Another side story: when my friend went out to the car to get the ibuprofen she returned to the wrong house. Yep just walked right into the neighbor's house. Like two whole steps in before she realized she was at the wrong place. It was the dog...the wrong dog...that clued her into the fact that she was in the wrong house. This makes me laugh. A lot:) Who does that?!]

So there we were. Done with dinner. Ibuprofen swallowed. Ready to head back into Chicago. Ready to start Girls Night Out for real. So we loaded back into the family vehicle. All seven of us. It was all going well until I heard the fateful words "everyone hold on" as we made a too quick left turn onto a busier road. That did it. I just knew it was game over for me. Thankfully my fellow passengers realized it as well and urged my friend's dad to pull over NOW! I made it to the curb before I lost my dinner. Unfortunately I was on display for my friend's entire family - not too mention all the cars driving past!

The rest of the drive back was kind of a painful blur. I do remember playing tour guide a bit as well as mentioning the fact that I hadn't felt this sick since my last pregnancy. They promptly offered to stop and pick up a pregnancy test. I declined. I spent a good deal of time apologizing for ruining their family vacation. To which they said it was fine as long as I named this *supposed* baby after them. I think the chosen name was either McCarty Kaye or McCarty David. I may or may not have agreed to those names as long as they promptly delivered me to the hotel. I do distinctly remember scolding my friend (for what? I don't know!) but I accidently called her Charlotte. Oops. That was a tad awkward. I was still thinking at this point that I would be able to rally and pull it together for some kind of Girls Night.

As we were pulling into the hotel's valet it became evident that I would NOT be rallying. Miraculously I made it all the way to the lobby bathroom this time. So much more dignified:) Sadly it was all down hill from there. And that is how our wild and crazy Girls Night continued. Me lying on the bed, moaning in pain and apologizing for ruining their night, only to be interrupted with me running to the bathroom to puke some more! It was lovely. Just how I dreamed my night out would be. Not. 

At some point I did blather on for a bit to my friend and her little sister to really appreciate their pre-baby bodies now no matter how much they might dislike them. Because later they would miss them. Random. I know. I think I may have scarred them a bit. Sorry girls. We also facetimed with Joe. That was nice. Gave us something else to focus on besides me puking and the fact that I had forgotten a toothbrush. The highlight was when he showed us all three kids sleeping:) I am sure that was the highlight of his night as well. Not!

All the moaning and puking continued until I finally, FINALLY passed out and slept off whatever that horribleness was. And miraculously this morning I woke up feeling human once again. I finally rallied and enjoyed a perfect sunshine filled morning of playing tourist/tour guide in the city. Of which I do have photographic evidence. Enjoy!

Thank you McCarty family for including me on your family vacation again. Lets not wait 14 years to do it again, deal? Deal. Thank you also for {lying to me} telling me I didn't ruin your Friday night. I appreciate your kindness greatly. I love you guys. Oh and thank you for the pizza. It was delicious!

And that my friends is how I killed Girls Night...again! It's official. I am never again allowed to participate in Girls Night Out. Not ever again. Unless of course it is the type that involves sewing and crafting. Because those Girls Nights I know how to rock!