I promise this won't be all woe-is-me and a complete downer. At the end I will share my happy little things! It just might take a while to get there. Brevity has never been my thing.
I don't know why exactly. Or how. But without warning, it hit me hard and fast. A case of the "blahs" as I like to call it. I do know when it happened. While walking the kids home from school yesterday I went from everything is fine and dandy to BLAH. I felt as flat and unenjoyable as the four hour old can of Pepsi I was sipping. And the kids noticed right away. Mom was quick to anger and short on patience for no apparent reason. (Sorry kids.)
Upon returning home I started making dinner. Nothing fancy as it would be just me and the kids. No need to fight them over eating a meal that I put a lot of effort into when scrambled eggs, sausage links, strawberries and English muffins would be devoured and (mostly) nutritious.
At the time my house looked like this:
[My breakfast still in the toaster! Completely forgotten. Maybe that was part of my blah-ness?!]
Clearly it needed some attention. And yet I couldn't find any motivation to improve it. See, that is being blah. I texted my husband as we were finishing dinner looking for his ETA. I was hopeful it would be before or around the kids bedtime. I had told myself, once Joe gets home I will get my act together. Maybe we can do the dishes together?! His response, "We still have one case to go. And it is a long one. Don't wait up." Let me translate that. Case = surgery. Don't wait up = it will be midnight or later. The man knows I am a night owl. Ugh. Not the response I was hoping for.
Thankfully this text conversation snapped me out of my blah-ness instead of making me spiral down further. Because his next text was an enthusiastic one sharing with me that he had placed his first chest tube in a trauma patient and later (after surgery presumably?!) he was going to suture a different patient! And it was this that got me thinking. If he can be this excited and enthusiastic about his "job" as a medical student then clearly I could show just a smidge more enthusiasm and go-getter-ness in my "job" as a mom. At the time he sent me the text he had already been at the hospital for 12 hours with no end in sight. Add to this the fact that he had been at the hospital on Tuesday from 6:30 AM until midnight Wednesday morning, so he was running on very little sleep. And yet he was enthusiastic and eager to do more. So yeah, I could wash a few dishes, fold the laundry and play with our precious children. Because who was I kidding, the man was working 36 of the previous 48 hours, he would not want to wash dishes when he finally stepped foot back in our home. Nor should he be expected to. It's not like he was the one who created the mess!
So that is what I did. I cleaned and straightened. I played and read bedtime stories. I tucked our kids in and kissed them goodnight. And want to know something? I felt better. The kids felt better (because I was clearly enjoying them more). And BONUS...Joe was able to return to a neat and tidy home instead of a complete dump, however I doubt his bleary sleep-deprived eyes even noticed:)
And now for the good stuff. The things and moments that have been putting a smile on my face. That add a little joy to my life this past week.
Little Things Thursday:
~The girls have started going to sleep at the same time. Prior to this week I typically would put Charlotte to bed first and then rock and rock and rock and rock Hannah to sleep. However Hannah has recently decided she doesn't want to be rocked anymore. At first I didn't know what to do. So I just plopped them in their beds at the same time, said goodnight and walked away. There were very minimal tears. And then the sweetest thing happened. They "talked" to each other until they fell asleep. And it has been working ever since for nap and bedtime! The extra wonderful part about this set-up is that now I have more time to snuggle with Isaiah and read to him from the 'Little House on the Prairie' series. It is our special one-on-one time.
~Speaking of sleep, I dug out one of old alarm clocks for Isaiah. Not to wake him up but to keep him in bed! He knows he may NOT get out of bed until after his clock reads 7:00 AM. Which means no more shouting to me from his room at 6:07 AM and 6:09 AM and 6:12 AM and 6:13 AM asking permission to get up and inadvertently waking his sisters. Sleep. Glorious sleep.
~Isaiah is loving school! I was worried he wouldn't because by the end of kindergarten he was developing a bad attitude towards school and learning. But my fears were in vain. For example, the boy was so bummed about the weekend because he wouldn't get to go to school for 2 whole days!!! However he does miss his toys. Not me. And not his sisters. His toys:) Which has resulted in him playing a lot more INDEPENDENTLY when he is home! I love it. Because quite frankly I don't want to partake in Hero Factory battles all evening. Sorry I am just not that good of a mom.
~I found this cute little chair on the curb. It was a little tattered and needing some TLC. But thanks to my sewing machine and a little oxi clean it is as good as new, well almost:) And all 3 kids love it!
~Despite the fact that the kids have not seen their dad since Monday night (due to the aforementioned ridiculously long hours at the hospital) they seem unfazed and taking it all in stride. Charlotte remembered him in her prayers yesterday. So sweet. And Isaiah decided to save one of his sausage links for daddy because he knows how much his dad loves sausage. And daddy did enjoy it as a midnight/1AM?! snack. Not sure of the exact time as I was groggy. Which leads to my last little thing, I am thankful that the past two nights I have woken enough when Joe gets home to chat with him just a bit before he dozes off. These face-to-face conversations have been my sanity saver this week. Even if all I tell him is that Hannah has been extra fussy which I hope means more teeth. And that Charlotte and I have been working diligently on learning that God gave her hands for hugging, helping and holding NOT hitting and hurting. Or how Isaiah finally ate the snack I packed for him instead of throwing it away because it was "too yucky".
~Oh did I say last thing? One more. Because this is a really happy one:) Isaiah didn't have school today (which I learned from him this morning - I really need to pay closer attention to details). So the kids and I took a walk. It was BEAUTIFUL. Sunny. Mid 70s. Windy (in a good way). And to make it even better we ended up at a friend's house and had an impromptu playdate in her driveway.
Suddenly I don't feel like I am running on E anymore.