this is really happening.

Earlier today when four guys from our church showed up to help my husband and father load up our 24' moving truck, I started to feel panicky. Slightly due to fact that I was convinced it wouldn't all fit inside said truck. It did. Mostly. We are leaving behind a sandbox, a kid picnic table, my desk (that I never painted!), a kiddie pool, an out-of-date car seat and a diaper pail. All things I am willing to part ways with. 

The panic was also partly due to the fact that I suddenly realized that tomorrow I have to unload and sort all of these belongings. Most of the stuff is going into storage. The rest to my parents' house where we will reside (off and on) for the next year. And this unloading process is 100% my responsibility as Joe is not coming with us. I am not sure I am up to that task. But then again I don't really have a choice, do I?

Lastly, panic set in as I began to question THIS ENTIRE MOVE. I mean, why are we moving everything and totally uprooting our children just do it all over again in 12 months?!? Is this the dumbest thing we have ever done?!? Are we making a huge mistake? Will we regret this decision? Why are we doing this?!?

I don't have all the answers. But as I lay on the living room floor next to my feverish daughter in my very empty and very clean* house, I am trying to remember all the reasons we are choosing to do this. Reasons like it will save us money. It will allow us to travel with Joe. It will allow us to live with & near both sets of the kids' grandparents (which has NEVER happened before). And maybe, just maybe Joe will be lucky enough to match into a residency in Minnesota. And then it will just be an easy peasy local move:) 

Admittedly I am still not convinced that this is a good plan...but ready or not this move is happening. No looking back now. I made my bed...now I have to lie in it! And I sure hope it's a lot more comfortable than this floor:)

*My house is clean thanks to two sweet friends that showed up after the truck was loaded, armed with scrubbing bubbles and paper towels. They cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned some more. If we get our deposit back I feel as though I owe them a good portion:)