Monday, September 29, 2014

Veteran Mom

Last week I attended my first MOPS meeting here in Minnesota. It was good! And weird...because I didn't know anyone. My people weren't there:( I was the new mom which is scary and kinda hard. Ok. Enough about new beginnings! My point about attending MOPS was that one of the ladies at my table referred to me as a "veteran mom". Ha! I nearly laughed out loud. Because had she seen me bribing my four year old (with candy!) to walk into the church just one hour before that, she might not have given me that title...or at least not have said it with so much respect in her voice. 

Veteran mom?! Who me?!! Never. But I suppose that's how she sees me. Mom of 3 kids, pregnant with a fourth. It probably sounds very veteran-ish to her new mom self (she has one infant). But I hardly feel like a veteran. For example, leaving MOPS that same morning, I nearly drove off with Charlotte's artwork on the outside of my windshield. Thankfully a nice gentleman stopped me first! 

And since then there have been countless times I have felt completely clueless as a mom. Nothing like a veteran. I mean I still can't get Hannah to fall asleep in her bed without climbing out 50+ times each night! My two year old is outsmarting me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. 

And just a few days ago I left Hannah unattended in the same room as my can of soda. I returned a few minutes later to find her guzzling it! Eek. When she saw me she threw the can down on the recliner - spilling most of the soda in the process! As you can imagine bedtime was a HUGE struggle that night. Caffeine and toddlers should not mix. Never. Ever. This so called veteran mom should know better.

That same day I was late picking Isaiah up from the bus stop. So late in fact he met me just two houses down as he was walking home. Oops. Oh and later that night I was so distracted sorting baby BOY clothes that I accidentally let Isaiah stay up until midnight! MIDNIGHT. Aack. Who does that?!? Apparently me. 

And EVERY DAY I have brawls and arguing matches to split up. Multiple times a day actually. Discerning who is in the right and who is in the wrong!??! Yea, it's beyond me! My newest mom-ism has become "I don't care who started it. I am ending it!" 

If I am being perfectly honest here (which I try my darnedest to do), Charlotte has entered a phase (or at least I pray it is just a phase!) that I feel clueless as how to parent. She was the easiest toddler and then she turned four and BAM!! She suddenly is an opinionated and stubborn and whiney and dramatic little person. A total different girl. A girl I don't like dealing with. A girl I find very difficult and draining to parent. (Please let it be a phase!) But parent I must. So I do. Like a novice. Not a veteran. Making it up as I go along. Praying I am not making too many mistakes along the way. 

Clearly I only kind of, maybe, sorta know what I am doing. I hardly feel like a veteran. Because in reality, despite what that newbie mom thinks of me, I am just faking it until I make it. But aren't we all?! Maybe by the time all of my children are grown and out of the home I will feel like a veteran mom. Maybe. Probably not though.