PNO - KNI

{Preface: this post was written a week ago about last Friday night. It was forgotten and left as a draft for the past week. I almost deleted it but then I couldn't because I really want to know...am I the only mom that deals with this much poop and pee on a regular basis?!? Please say NO!}

Friday afternoon I found myself running around like a mad woman trying to keep order and peace in our house. Hannah had somehow managed to pee on her "baby" (her special blanket) during nap time. Instead of throwing in an entire load of laundry (the smart thing to do) I hand washed it in the sink and hung it over a heat vent to dry. Isaiah was begging for a) a snack and b) my phone (to watch YouTube videos of how-to build Hero Factory). I agreed to the snack. But before I could get the snack served Charlotte called out for me from the bathroom. She had had an "accident". And NOT the potty kind...the other one:( Quickly I wiped her down and put her in the tub. Then I returned to the kitchen to serve the other two a snack - crackers & cheese slices. Once they were settled at the table snacking, I returned to the bathroom to clean up the rest of the poopy mess. As I was washing out Charlotte's clothes I wondered to myself, "Am I the only one that deals with this much uncontained human excrement every day?" Am I?!? Please tell me I am not alone. I will accept half truths and blatant lies to make myself feel better at this point. Before I could complete my bleach-the-entire-bathroom mission Isaiah came rushing in to use the toilet! So I went out to check on Hannah. Much to my dismay I found her not eating her snack. Instead she had covered herself, her highchair and a three foot radius around her with pulverized crackers and cheese as only a toddler can do. While maddening, I couldn't really blame her...I had left her confined and bored. As I was madly cleaning Hannah and her surrounding mess, Isaiah returned and asked

for my phone again. To which I hastily responded, "No! Just go play. PLAY! You know that thing kids do. WITHOUT an iPhone! I survived my entire childhood playing without phones and how-to videos. And I think you will too!" Not my finest parenting moment. But sheesh! A phone is not necessary to play. He asked again. I ignored the question. He got the picture and went to play in his room. 

Eventually I got the bathroom cleaned up. Charlotte bathed and dressed. And the dining room returned to order. The reason for the rush and hurry was Friday night was our church's annual 'Parents Night Out - Kids Night In' event and I was not going to miss it (despite the fact that my date was still at the clinic). They watch the kids (and feed them dinner!) for 3 hours for FREE so parents can have an evening alone. Our church is the best! 

In the minutes before I needed to load the kids in the van to go, I found myself in the bathroom attempting to dry Hannah's "baby" with my travel sized (and very weak) blow dryer*. Seriously it as if my brain had quit working! After a few futile minutes it dawned on me that I could put it in the dryer! Such a novel concept. Well the "baby" never got completely dry (so close though!) but it allowed me to change yet another poopy diaper (her fourth for the day!) and get the kids to church only one minute late. Not bad considering the marathon it took to get us out the door...

I was a frazzled mess by the time I walked in the church doors. Friends tried to make conversation with me and I gave it my best shot but I was incapable of focusing and conversing at that point.  Sorry friends. It wasn't you, it was ME. Definitely me. Eventually I deposited each child in their respective rooms and in the capable hands of their babysitters and made my hasty exit. After a lengthy bath to decompress, I was finally ready for my date to begin and lucky for me Joe was home! We had a lovely UNINTERRUPTED dinner.

The silence was nearly deafening. But we found plenty to talk about and before we knew it it was time to go pick up our little barnacles...

same night. non-date outfit.

Tonight we are doing this...

...and don't be fooled by the smiles on our faces. We are NOT having fun. What we are trying to do is register Joe for (the majority of) his rotations for next year. But the system has crashed so instead of actually signing up for rotations (which would be lovely because then we would know where will be next year) we are hitting refresh every 20 seconds only to be denied access yet again! Frustrating. We may be up for awhile yet tonight...along with all 203 of Joe's classmates. Fun times. Fun times. I think it is time to pull out the chips and salsa.

 

*A couple weeks ago my trusty(?) old blow dryer died a dramatic spark flying death! I mean it quite literally, there were sparks flying from the handle as I was drying my hair one night. I was scared but unharmed. I was so startled I drug Joe out of bed to examine the dead blow dryer. He wasn't impressed:)

Addendum: After I hit publish, I realized that both of the tops and the dress (pictured above) are hand-me-downs from Joe's little sister! Thank you Chelsea for keeping my wardrobe fresh and in-style. I would be a lost cause without you:)