Monday, January 21, 2013

Next year

It makes me worry.  I can actually lose sleep over worrying about it.  I am living in fear of next year.  Because next year, next school year, is my husband’s 3rd year of medical school.  The year he starts clinical rotations.  The year this school stuff gets tough.  For us.  Not him. It has been challenging for him all along (as medical school should be).  But for us a family it has been fine…easy actually.  To be honest it doesn’t seem that different than having a working husband.  He gets up in the morning and leaves to study and attend class (albeit at a ridiculously early hour…4:30am).  He comes home in time for dinner if not earlier (almost every day).  We spend time together as a family.  We do the kid’s bedtime routine together as a family.  Then he studies some more:)  Sure I don’t get much one-on-one time with him, unless I am helping him study in the evenings (which I actually enjoy).  But our family time hasn’t suffered.  Yet.
I fear that this is all going to change next year.  His schedule is going to be demanding and erratic. I know it will be NOTHING compared to a residency schedule. Peanuts really.  But for right now this is big enough for us.  Too big? I am worried about parenting alone.  Can I do it?  But even more so I am worried and sad for my children.  They will get less time with their dad.  And they adore him!  He brings joy and laughter and fun into their lives.  He brings hugs, kisses, snuggles and wrestling matches.  Oh and he brings gum too:) Everything is better with gum.
This is all ridiculous.  We have until July.  There is no point in worrying about it now…or ever quite frankly.  And still I worry.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  -Matthew 6:34

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are then birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you can not do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?  – Luke 12:24-26

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