Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Selective Listening

What I say: Stay in bed! If you get out of bed I'm taking away your (toy) phone!
What my 2 year old hears: I'll just hand over my phone to mom and do whatever I want! It isn't really bedtime yet is it?!

What I say: Don't check out ALL Beast Quest books from the library. 
What my 7 year old hears: I'll get five Beast Quest books plus one of these books...which is basically an underwater version of Beast Quest but not technically Beast Quest. And then I'm good to go!

What I say: Go downstairs and get dressed. 
What my 4 year old hears: Time to get the pair of socks, undies and leggings I dig out of the dirty hamper because they are the only ones that fit just right! She never said they had to be clean!

What I say: Get in the pool and learn to swim! (at swimming lessons mind you) It's good for you. Trust me. 
What my 7 year old hears: My mom is trying to torture me. I know it. She's lieing. It's not good. It's very, very bad!

All of the above scenarios did in fact occur this week. And three out of four of them (while somewhat frustrating) made me laugh. I mean it's funny when my kids can legitimately outsmart me. (And a little scary.) But that last one...downright frustrating. That kid is determined to NOT grow up and learn new (and necessary!) skills. It's taken some tough love to get him to try new things. Threats of Legos being taken away. Plus many big fat reminders that "I am your mother. I love you. I only want good things for you. And while this doesn't seem like a good thing to you at the moment, it is! Trust me. I love you." It's becoming my new mothering mantra. 

And it seems to be working. Because look who got in the pool...
It wasn't me!

 (Though the swim instructor did suggest that! Um who was going to watch my other three kids then?! And aren't I paying them to teach him how to swim?! If I knew how to teach him I would save myself the hassle and money!)