That is not how it was supposed to go down. It's not how I imagined sending him off for his first interview social.
I was supposed to tell him how proud of him I am. (Because I AM!) And reassure him that he is the perfect candidate for a spot at this emergency medicine residency. (Because HE IS!) And just generally cheer him in on! (Because everyone needs a chearleader!). But I did none of those things. Not even a goodbye kiss and a "I love you" to send him out the door. Seriously?! How could I fail so miserably?!
The fact that the 48 hours leading up to this event have been utter chaos did not help the situation. [Background information: we are living in my parent's basement this year. There are two bedrooms down there. Both of which desperately needed paint and new carpet. A project we were determined to complete before Joe leaves this week for his next 4 week rotation. And the carpet guy was only available TODAY.] So starting late on Friday night we began moving our belongings upstairs, tearing out the old carpet and patching the walls (& by "we" I do mean Joe:). Saturday was spent prepping and painting...amongst other necessary activities like attending Isaiah's last soccer game of the season (they won again!) as well as taking care of our children's basic needs. Last night Joe went into the hospital for a shift in the ER. I put the kids to bed and painted until he arrived home at 2am. He then took over the painting until about 7am. At which point I got up with the children and Joe went to bed. We each probably got about 4 hours of sleep. Not a good set up for a stressful day (and a first interview at your top residency choice = STRESS!). Add to that the fact that all five of us were confined to two rooms ALL DAY due to carpet being installed and tensions were high, high, HIGH. Oh and I burnt the soup for lunch:(
The icing on the stress cake was when I attempted to force a very unenthusiastic Joe to practice interview questions with me this afternoon (as our children circled around us demanding attention - apparently papers needed to be taped and books needed to be read at that exact moment!). It probably didn't help that I told Joe after every answer he gave that it was bad/wrong! I didn't find a single thing to praise in regards to his mock interview. So much for being loving and supportive. I failed the interview miserably and I wasn't even being interviewed!
So this is where we are at.
Carpet and (most of) the painting done. Social dinner #1 (almost) done. The house is completely in shambles. None of our belongings are where they belong. Me still crabby. And for good reason...I am a pretty terrible wife/cheerleader at the moment. Tomorrow is Joe's first interview (at his first choice residency program!!! Pressure. Stress!! Oh my!).
I guess the good news is Joe has 14 more interviews to fall back on. The bad news is ALL of those residency programs are out of state:( I love the new carpet and paint. But at the moment I hate the fact that it makes me feel like we have lost our opportunity to stay in Minnesota.
Dramatic...who?!? Me?!? No never;)
I think I hate interview season already. And it's only just begun.
This too shall pass. You guys have been under tremendous amounts of stress and are doing great. It's a new day :). Don't worry. God is good. All the time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah! And despite my best efforts to thwart him Joe feels as though the interview went well. I think it's a good thing I won't be traveling with him for the rest of his interviews...he doesn't need me and my crabby pants adding to an already stressful situation.
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