I woke up with a headache. Just a small dull pain. I have two painful canker sores. And my back hurts from throwing a fit. (Yes I threw a fit! Yesterday I decided to show my 5 year old how ridiculous he looks when he throws a fit...I wouldn't recommend it.) My hair is greasy and pulled back into a pony tail. I have cheese smeared on my skirt and banana smashed into my tank top.
I don't really know where this is going. These days of ground hog-ish repetitiveness of motherhood are wearing me down right now. I know that one day I will look back at them and think those were the best days! But not today.
Today I just want a long uninterrupted shower. Or a bubble bath - that would be even better! I want peace and quiet. I dream of not being constantly touched... pulled and pushed by little needy hands. I want to wear a crisp clean outfit and enjoy a meal I didn't prepare myself. Although the prospect of any meal coming from my barren fridge is slim to none. I want to be past this letting her cry it out phase so we can go back to getting full nights of sleep. Or maybe her first tooth would just pop out and that would help?!?
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Okay. This ends my 'woe is me' rant. Because deep down I know that my life is good. My kids love me and need me. I am blessed to be able to be at home with them. And I have a husband who loves me deeply and at the end of every day he comes home and jumps right in to this crazy mess. Even when he is mentally exhausted {which he will be today after his 4.5 hour test}, he doesn't complain he just plays with the kids and helps with the household chores. I know all these things even if I am not feeling them. Right now these trenches feel deep.
On days like these a "real" job and daycare sound like a good idea. It's a good thing my computer is broken so I can't spend naptime searching for job listings. How's that for glass half full? Instead I am going to shower and change into my big girl pants...which also happen to be my yoga pants:) I am going to plan a fun outing for the kids and I for the afternoon. And then I will top it all off with a gourmet meal of leftover lunchables or maybe more pb&j. Because mama said there would be days like this...
Well you can be happy you have water to take a hot shower. After a morning of two kids wanting to wear underwear, but not actually using the toilet I am ready to do some laundry and cleaning. Our water has been turned off by the water company, which was not planned so we didn't get a phone call to warn us. I have wet underwear soaking in a bucket and had stained clothes in oxi-clean. I resorted to using the dogs(fresh) water for rinsing off the oxi-clean because last time I left it on too long it ruined the clothes. The lunch table is still smeared with lasagna and the dishes are piled high. I guess I can't really complain because I did take a nice long hot shower before the chaos! I will settle for a coke, my bed and a good book. You aren't alone!! I just wish we could join you on your outing.
ReplyDeleteThat is a bad day! And your kids would have loved the beach. Plus they probably would have been more appropriately dressed for the weather. It was a little bit chilly:)
DeleteI adore you and your honesty!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
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