1 week of residency.

Today in church it hit me that Joe has only 1 week of residency left. 6 shifts and he is done. We are done.  The thought instantly brought tears to my eyes. Real tears. Streaming down my face tears. The pastor was preaching about spiritual warfare and people facing trials. Real and heavy stuff. So I felt silly crying over finishing residency. Thankfully I was in the second row and alone so no one saw my tears. But these past three years have been hard. Not spiritual warfare hard. But challenging. And seemingly never ending. And yet here we are almost at the end.

Admittedly, in the beginning church was hard for me. For the first 6 or 8 weeks we lived here Joe worked every single Sunday. So it was me and my four kids "church shopping" alone every week. At the time I had an infant, a two year old, a five year old, and an eight year old. Physically it was hard. Emotionally it was even harder. Choosing a church without my husband was a huge and overwhelming responsibility. And most Sundays I cried sitting alone in the pew holding my baby. I often used the baby as a cover. Going to the cry room to nurse him and cry in private. Those were long hard days. Thankfully those hard Sunday mornings are a distant memory. Our church has become like family over these past three years. And even though it is just me and the kids most Sunday mornings it isn't so hard. And I don't usually cry anymore. Except today.

Today I cried tears of relief and joy and a little bit of disbelief. We did it. We made it.

Joe survived some really long, brutal ICU months. Months of nights. Lots of missed holidays and birthdays and family events. And even more missed sleep. So much hospital time. So little family time. Learning to be the best ER doctor he can be. Oh and a hurricane. He survived that too.

And the kids and I survived so many hours just us. In our new city in our new house in a new state where we didn't know a soul. We made a life for ourselves. Filled with school and church and sports. Book club and beach days. We created a pseudo-extended family with our residency and church people. I survived countless meals and bedtimes as a solo parent. So many hours and days without Joe.

And now its almost done. 6 more shifts.