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Thursday, January 14, 2016

Oh the little years.

When your kids are little you feel like they are going to be little forever. I mean FOREVER!  You know it's not actually possible but the days (and nights!) are so long it feels like it is never going to end. Plus you can't imagine them as anything but little. And totally dependent upon you to meet their every need. That toddler and baby couldn't possibly become big and independent, could they? 


But they do! They grow up. At an alarming rate. And they learn how to do things all by themselves. Like get dressed. And use the bathroom (completely unassisted). And make themselves pb&j sandwiches! And play by themselves. They even go off to school without you for EIGHT HOURS every day!!! And you see it all happen right before your eyes. This slow change from complete dependence to independence. But it's hard to notice at times. Even though you are there every step of the way it can sneak up on you. Your babies aren't babies anymore. They are kids. 

So you have more babies. (Or at least I did). 


Which is clearly not the solution. Because dang nabbit those babies grow up too! 

I'm not sure if it's because my baby is almost one (and therefore no longer a baby!) or if it's the fact that my eldest is inching closer to nine years old (and therefore half way to adulthood!!) but I'm struggling. I don't want this stage to end. I so badly want to run up to every first time mom and tell them to "just enjoy it. They grow up so fast". I want to tell them every cliché about these years with littles being the best and just a brief stage with their children. But I know they can't possibly understand. And quite frankly they don't want advice from the crazy lady with four kids who looks like she hasn't showered (or slept!) in days. I know. Because back when I was the mom of one sweet, needy baby I didn't understand. And I certainly didn't believe the moms that went before me and tried to warn me. 

And now. Now that I'm leaving the baby stage and nearly half way done raising my first baby. I want to go back. I want to start over. Not to change things or do them differently. I just want to experience it all over again. I want a chance to slow down and enjoy it. Just one more time. 


But since that isn't possible I'm going to try my darnedest to enjoy this stage. Because while it's hard to imagine these kids as teenagers (or adults!) I know it's coming. And sooner than I think. 


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