Reintegration

I wish I could say Joe's homecoming was simply fabulous. But that would be a lie.

Before Joe arrived home I was dreaming of living the life of luxury upon his return. Or at least the luxurious mom life...sitting back while HE did meal times and bath times and bedtimes with the kids. Allowing him to discipline the kids (as needed). Letting Joe take the lead in monitoring homework and household chores. Etcetera.  

It was a nice dream. 

The reality has been far less nice. Because the one thing I didn't plan on was Joe being sick. The poor guy has had a fever and a cough since he arrived home. Meaning he has been down for the count. Meaning life has continued as usual. Meal times and bath times and bedtimes...pretty much all still my duties:(

Which in turn has made me VERY crabby. And not feeling very loving or kind towards Joe. (*I have seriously lacked sympathy for the poor guy!) That's the problem with having expectations.  If I hadn't expected anything then I would have been fine. I mean I was doing fine before Joe got here so why couldn't I just continue along like that?! Because of my dumb expectations. I was expecting a break. In fact I felt entitled to a break. And when things stayed the same my attitude stunk. 

When will I learn?! The key to happiness (in this stage of life) is to LOWER MY EXPECTATIONS. Or better yet have no expectations! I mean it's not like Joe is going to be sick forever...eventually I will get my break, right?!?!?

*In my defense (of lack of sympathy for Joe), I am having a terrible time sleeping these days. I sleep for a couple hours and then I am up for a couple hours. I am NOT getting good sleep. And I LOVE sleep. It's so hard. It's definitely not helping my crabbiness! Oh and it's not my huge belly that is keeping me up at night. It's my hips! They ache. SO MUCH. Extra pillows and a body pillow are not helping:( But I suppose Joe is right "I ain't no spring chicken anymore!" Pregnancy. It's kinda uncomfortable.