THE perfect curtains

We have been here in Texas for 33 days. And the number one question I have been asked during this time has been "how are you doing?"  And mostly I can answer with an honest "GOOD". The kids are adjusting well....now that they finally know simple things like where the bathroom is located in our house and have differentiated between the front door and the back door. Life is pretty good for them. We've even managed to fall into somewhat of a rhythm with our days. And Joe is enjoying his work at the hospital. It's not without its challenges obviously but he's learning and gaining confidence in his brand new doctor role. And me? Well I was doing well. Enjoying setting up our new home. Exploring our new town. Meeting the other residents' families. Finding my new Texas groove.  But today, day 33, it hit me. 

I'm lonely. 

I want a friend. A true friend. Not just acquaintances. (The other residents' wives have been fabulous...really! But...) I want to be known and to know someone well. I want to tell a story without having to give a detailed backstory so that it makes sense. I want to be with people that I know enjoy my company. People that I know for sure are not annoyed by my children. Or even if they are annoyed they still love us. I want to have someone I can call up for no reason. Or have over to my house and not feel the need to apologize for the constant mess that is our home. 

I want a friend. 

And I know (from past experience) that I will make a friend...eventually. But right now it feels like it is never going to happen. Because it's hard meeting new people and forging new friendships. It takes time and work. It takes a whole lot of "this is me. Who are you?" conversations. And "I have these quirks, habits, preferences and beliefs. So how about you? What are your quirks, habits, preferences and beliefs?" interactions. Until you find just the right match. 

So until then I'll just keep on keepin' on. Which these days looks a lot like searching like a mad woman (online and in stores) for THE perfect curtains for our living room. As I type this I have four different curtains hanging on my two living room windows. Because clearly the correct drapes will make everything better! Kidding. It won't fix anything really. Except making my house prettier. And that's gotta count for something, right?

this old new-to-us house

I plan to share some of the home renovations we've done since buying our house nearly a month ago. (Wow. That was a fast month!) But before I share all the pictures of the changes I want to explain that I truly do LOVE our new house and I'm thankful for it every single day. However our house is a bit older (built in 1977) and dated and in need of a little TLC (as it was a rental for the past few years). But despite some of its shortcomings there are many, many things I love (or at least like) about it. So without further ado my list of twenty reasons I love my new house. 

1. The space! Oh the glorious space. To run and play and just be. We have nearly twice the space we had in our med school rental house. Twice the space!!! It's amazing. 

2. The front door. It's solid wood and pretty. And unique. And I like it. 

3. Ceiling beams and...

4. Vaulted ceilings. In the living room and the master bedroom. They make the place feel fancy. 

5. A real wood burning fireplace and...

6. Built in book shelves. I've always wanted built-ins. And now I have them surrounding the fireplace. 

7. The arches. Arched windows and doorways and walls surrounding the bath tubs. 

8. Main floor laundry (which apparently is the norm in Texas but new & wonderful to me!) 

9. Built in desks in two of the bedrooms. Isaiah has one and the other is my sewing desk! 

10. HUGE closets. I thought I was going to miss having a basement. But I don't. The closets fit all our stuff and there is just no need for a basement. (See #1) Life above ground is nice. 

11. Master bathroom. Oh the luxury! 

12. Which means the kids have their own bathroom!!!

13. An attached garage large enough to park in. 

14. A large fenced in backyard with a playhouse. So when the kids are driving me bonkers...as they tend to do from time to time...I can send them out and monitor them from the kitchen window. 

15. Eat in kitchen. It's not grand. And it's not fancy. But it's practical. And makes my life so much easier. I love it!

16. Ice maker and cold water dispenser in the fridge. Because Texas is HOT. (Technically the house didn't come with this feature, but it was a good Craigslist find) 

17. Wood laminate and tile floors throughout most of the house. 

18. White walls and white trim. Lots and lots of white. It's like one big fresh blank slate. 

19. Ceiling fans in every room. Did I mention Texas is hot?!

20. It's within walking distance of my kids' school. Drop off and pick up is going to be so simple! 

Mostly I love the people I share this house with and I'm excited to make it our home. To build memories and watch my babies grow up here. 

Red, white and (not) cool!

Since Joe was lucky enough to have the fourth off we all dressed in our finest red, white and blue attire....or just any red, white and blue attire we could find in our (mostly unpacked) closets and loaded into the family van to find the local parade. Because inevitably there is a parade on July 4th regardless of where you are in this country. But first we took our obligatory patriotic family picture. Just like last year. Except this year Levi is HERE and a big part of our family...and not just in the-embryo-that-is-making-mommy-sick-and-tired-all-the-time kind of way. Instead he is a real member of our family. With thoughts and opinions. And quirky little habits. He's been here for five months and now I can hardly remember life without him. I certainly can't imagine our family without him! But a year ago I couldn't imagine our family with him (though I knew he was on his way). That's the funny thing about having kids. Each one completes your family a little more. In ways you didn't even know you were incomplete.

And this ends my deep thoughts.

Back to the parade. And silly things like candy. Or the lack thereof. Because unlike last year my kids did not come home from the parade with a pound of candy each. Which (in theory) is not a bad thing in and of itself. But it was HOT, humid, and windy at the parade. And while watching the trucks, cars and floats go by was fun...candy definitely would have made it better/tolerable.  But that was small fries in comparison to the "rat half the size of Eddy (my dad's dog) and the dead dog on the street corner" that Isaiah claimed to see on our way to the parade. Um what?!?!? No. No. No. Rats and dead dogs? Where do we live?!? (Thankfully not in that part of the city)

No one beside Isaiah saw this wildlife. And Joe thinks Isaiah was exaggerating. "Probably a stray cat and a sleeping dog." Either way I'm in no hurry to head back to that part of town. Maybe we'll skip the parade next year. The beach is much more my style anyways. 

Little Life Updates

Oh my goodness. This move. It has totally kicked my butt. Physically and mentally. It's just plain exhausting moving cross country with a small cohort of children. And the unpacking and settling in...it feels endless. I'm beginning to think I will always have boxes stacked in every corner of this house! I suppose all of that is obvious and to be expected of a move. But I wasn't expecting it to be this bad. 

But life keeps on happening so in no particular order here is the latest and greatest...

I grew up in Minnesota. Therefore I grew up with "Minnesota Nice". Which lead me to believe that Minnesotans are the nicest people. Wrong. Texans take nice to a whole new level. And SO polite too! I've never been called ma'am so much in my life. (Although admittedly I'm undecided on how I feel about being in the ma'am category...) Last week I took all four kids to the grocery store. I didn't want to. But my desire to eat outweighed my desire to avoid public embarrassment. So with much dread and a little trepidation I entered the grocery store with Levi strapped to me, Hannah in the cart and the big ones trailing behind me. Yes. I am that mom. But much to my surprise and delight in addition to a few obligatory "you've got your hands full" comments, I had half a dozen shoppers stop me to tell me how well I was doing/how well behaved my children are/keep up the good work/your kids are adorable. It was shocking. In a good way. I left feeling like a rockstar. A sweaty, hot weighed down by a million pounds of food and children rockstar. It made going to the grocery store with the kids this week a lot less scary.

Oh and the girl at the take n bake pizza place on our first day here that insisted on carrying my pizza to my car for me...totally brought tears to my eyes with her kindness. That's the kind of Texan nice I'm talking about. 

Speaking of Texans, for as much as they don't seem to mind all the cockroaches many of them have told me how much they dislike the lizards that are everywhere here! Meanwhile the kids and I love them. We love watching them, chasing them and even photographing them. They are so stinkin' cute! 

I've been staining our kitchen cabinets at night (more on that later). It's somewhat boring, tedious work. But every night there are a couple lizards that visit me. They crawl on the outside of the kitchen window and I watch their adorable little bodies wiggle around as my stain dries. I like my nightly visitors. 

Speaking of nights...

How cute are these two sharing a bed? Arms and legs and baby dolls everywhere! This transition to sharing a bed has gone pretty smooth. Better than I expected actually. Besides a few nights of lively conversations and not being able to settle down without a stern word (or two...or a dozen) from mom and dad we haven't had any real issues. 

After I finish staining every night I love to peak in at the girls and see what sort of pile they have settled into. 

 

The other evening we met some neighbors. Said neighbors have a seven year old boy. Isaiah and Charlotte said their obligatory hellos and then quickly retreated into the house to play Legos. The neighbor boy then started scootering up and down our sidewalk. I saw a perfect opportunity for a potential friendship so I went inside and asked the kids if they would like to scoot too. They immediately declined. I re-structured my offer...scooter time orbedtime. They wisely chose to scooter. And lo and behold within ten minutes of being outside with the neighbor they were sitting on the lawn under the shade of a tree trading Pokemon cards! Instant friendship.  

Sometimes mom knows best. 

And sometimes a little Texan twang escapes the lips of my Midwest born children! While playing cards last week Isaiah asked if "ya'll get another turn?"  Later he was quick to explain it was AN ACCIDENT.  But I think it was adorable. Accident or not. And it's a very useful word. So short, sweet and all encompassing. I'm just not ready to use it...yet! 

Levi just keeps on growing and changing and I'm long overdue for a proper baby update. But until that happens this will have to do. He's started sitting on my hip like a real big baby. And even more shocking is that he put himself to sleep the other night while I was reading the girls' bedtime stories. It was adorable. And convenient! But it totally made me sad. I like rocking my baby to sleep.  I hope it was a fluke! Although the (finally!) sleeping through the night thing can stick around forever. I'm liking sleeping at night again. It does the body and mind good!

Since we've arrived here almost a month ago we've tried a few different churches. Our first Sunday here we didn't make it to church. We had been in the state less than 48 hours, our truck wasn't even fully unpacked and we didn't know where our church clothes were. Excuses. Excuses. I know. But it just didn't happen. The second week my parents and mother-in-law were with us so we visited a church my dad wanted to see. The third week Joe was at the hospital so I was tempted to skip the whole church alone with four kids ordeal but I put on my big girl pants (aka these-are-my-kids-and-this-is-my-life-so-I-better-own-it pants) and went to a nice nearby Baptist church. It was good. And I'm glad I went. The church felt like a good fit for our family. Very warm and welcoming with good preaching and children's programs. Then last week, our fourth Sunday here the kids and I tried a different church. And while this church was also warm and welcoming, it just didn't feel right. I felt out of place and very much like a visitor. I felt lonely and sad sitting in the pew alone (with my baby). I was on the verge of tears for most of the service and I'm not even sure why. 

And THAT is pretty much how this whole settling into our new life has gone for me. One day/hour/minute it's great! I love it/I'm super excited/feels like home. And then the very next day/hour/minute I'm in tears because it's the worst! And everything is wrong/different/overwhelming. It has reminded me A LOT of being post-partum with all these quickly fluctuating mood swings. 

July 1.

To most Americans the first of July is not a significant date. It is three days later on the fourth that gets all the fanfare (for good reason). But to those of us in the world of medicine today - July 1st - is a big deal. It's the medical new year. And this year it is especially significant for our family. Because today Joe started his first shift as a resident physician. An intern. 

He's four hours into this doctor gig. Another eight to go before his day in the MICU is scheduled to end. But who's counting? Oh. Yeah. Me. That's who. I'm not sure why though. Because if there's one thing I've learned in the past four years, it's this..."shifts" and "schedules" mean very little. Something always comes up and the hours always grow longer. 

(But that's not really what I wanted to write about today.)

I have mixed emotions about today. It's obviously very exciting! The beginning of a great new chapter of our life. It's what we have been working towards for years. Literally. But at the same time I didn't want today to come. Because now it begins. The 80 hour work weeks. The overworked and tired doctor husband. Me and all the kids at home filling seemingly endless hours without him. The past two weeks of orientation have been great. Sure Joe has been at the hospital during the day. But the evenings have been filled with grill outs and beach parties and an outdoor concert. Lots of swimming, eating and socializing. Getting to know the other residents and their families. Today it seems the party ends and reality begins. 

So while exciting, it kinda feels like a sad day. Even the weather is sad. Down pouring for hours.