Levi's Birth - The Conclusion

Just to clarify, up until this point during labor my mom had been keeping Joe up-to-date on my progress via text messages and pictures. When I called him from the tub he was still three and a half hours away, somewhere in Iowa with poor cell phone reception.

11:56pm - After one more contraction in the bathroom I manage to "launch" myself back into bed - bringing Joe along with me on speaker phone. As the nurse is checking my cervix I am quite...well...to put it nicely "verbal". Moaning and SCREAMING "I can't do this. I don't want to do this!". Then quickly followed by "Sorry I don't normally scream like this while in labor". My nurse declares me complete and ready to push. 

11:58pm - With my nurse's declaration all screaming stopped instantly and instead I cry. I cry big fat tears. I cry because I know there is no stopping this. I can not deny the truth any longer. I cry because Joe is going to miss the birth of his second son and I know there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I cry because I feel so guilty for going into labor when I sent him away. I cry because it feels so wrong to give birth without my husband at my side. I cry because I am sad and scared and even a little bit happy all at once. I just cry.  

12:02am - The on call OB comes into the room and another contraction begins nearly simultaneously. As she is putting on her gown and gloves I look her in the eyes and inform her "I am pushing". She responds with a simple "ok". So I push. I push with all my might. 

12:03am - I push and his head is delivered (along with a hand). And then for an instant I consider stopping pushing (because typically the body is delivered with a second contraction) but no one told me to stop. So I just keep on pushing. One long continual push. And then at...

12:04am - he is out! Right there on the end of the hospital bed. There was no time for setting up for delivery. The bed was not "torn down". No stirrups were set up or used. The delivery lights were never turned on. There was no time for such things. Just like that he is here. And the doctor is placing him on my chest. And suddenly, despite the less than ideal circumstances, it all feels so wonderful and amazing. And I am marveling at the perfection that is my son. It is love at first sight. And I declare him to be the cutest newborn I had ever seen! I just want to hold him and study him forever...or atleast until curiosity gets the best of me and I just have to know his weight and length.

 

Over the course of the next couple hours all the usual post delivery events occur. I cut his cord. The placenta is delivered. Baby is weighed and measured. I eat my first post delivery meal (including a Pepsi) like a starved person. Baby and I have our first nursing session. We are transferred to my post partum room. During most of this time Joe remains on speaker phone with us. He is present in an odd way. Then at...

3:20am - Joe arrives at the hospital and I introduce him to his son. His fourth child. It was surreal. It was amazing. And a little sad. Bittersweet. I apologize profusely for not being able to wait for his arrival. He forgives me immediately. And together we marvel at our son. Our perfect blessing.

 

That is the story of how on Friday, January 30th 2015 at 12:04am

Levi Joseph joined our family 

weighing 8 pounds and 5 ounces and measuring 21 1/4 inches in length

and we couldn't be more grateful to have him as a part of our family! 

Levi's Birth

Since I am in a perfectly quiet and calm hospital room snuggling a perfectly content newborn I thought I would record the details of said baby's grand debut into our family and this world (while it is still fresh in my mind).

Thursday, January 29th 2015

11:10am - I sent Joe out the door for his last* residency interview! It was 6 hours away by car. The plan was for him to be gone for a mere 30 hours. Joe tried to convince me he should cancel as I was 38 w 4 d pregnant. But I insisted he attend the interview...because I like the location of the program. Plus, surely he couldn't possible miss the birth. He is only 6 hours away and my last labor was 24 hours! So we should be just fine. (Admittedly I did have a nagging feeling that this wasn't a good idea...I just didn't tell him that!)

3:39pm - Charlotte and I are resting on the couch and reading books. First contraction. Although it was not painful. Just noticeable. A Braxton hicks contraction. 

4:20pm - Another non-painful contraction while finally getting dressed for the day. 

These non-painful contractions continue all evening....through making dinner, serving & eating dinner and taking Isaiah to his first gymnastics class. They were about 30-40 minutes apart. But again they weren't bothersome and I had been experiencing them off and on for a couple weeks. No big deal. I would just take a bath after I put the kids down for bed and they would settle down. I was sure of it. Mostly sure...

7:40pm - Watching Isaiah's gymnastics with Hannah. BAM. Painful contraction! Feels like the real deal. Uh oh. 

7:49pm - Another painful contraction 

8:06pm - Starting to get worried that while mild these contractions are a little too reminiscent of labor for my liking. Sent Joe a text...

8:25pm - Put the girls to bed. Continue to contract and record...

8:59pm - I put Isaiah to bed. And by "put to bed" I mean I bark orders at him. "Put your pajamas on. Brush your teeth! Go to the bathroom! Get in bed! Lay down." It's the best I could do given my contractions were increasingly painful and causing me to be frozen in pain. 

9:07pm - Call the on-call OB. Explain the whole my-husband-is-six-hours-away-by-car-and-I-think-I-am-in-labor-situation. I know 10 minutes apart is not standard for getting checked, but I just want to know if I am progressing and if Joe should start driving home. She thinks I sound too comfortable while on the phone and asks me to call back in 30-60 minutes if they become more intense and/or closer together. I don't like this plan. 

9:16pm - Text my mom as I am unsure of her whereabouts and I am going to need her to bring me to the hospital. 

9:17pm - CONTRACTION brings me to my hands and knees. Get up and check the kids. Only Charlotte is asleep. Erg!

9:21pm - CONTRACTION. Again on my hands and knees. 

9:22pm - Call Joe. "GET IN THE CAR! This is happening!" He immediately obeys. 

9:29pm - Check on the children. PAINFUL contraction. Tell Isaiah to turn off his light. Reading time is over. Then whisper in his ear that I think baby brother will be born while he is sleeping. It's our little secret:)

9:32pm - My mom arrives home. I inform her of the situation we have going on. She informs my dad. Her and I go our separate ways to pack our hospital bags. 

9:43pm - Call on call OB and inform her I am coming in. 

But before actually leaving I do all the important last minute tasks like brush my teeth and wipe down the counters and take my for real LAST belly pictures. And then in a sentimental crazed moment I run downstairs and take one last picture of Hannah as my "baby"...waking her in the process. Oops. 

10:09pm - Mom and I make the drive to the hospital. I send out texts to my sister and best friend. 

10:19pm - Arrive at labor & delivery. Starting to get nervous that 5 hours is too long to wait to deliver this baby. But then I notice my nose is running and it really annoys me. And I make the logical assumption that if I am annoyed by a runny nose then surely I can't be too far along and that Joe will indeed make it for the delivery. 

10:34pm - Shown to a triage room. Given a gown. Sit down on the bed. Start fiddling with my camera settings (because I have priorities!). Water breaks as I am taking a picture of my mom. Nurse walks in and I inform her of two things. 1. My water just broke. 2. I can not have this baby until 3:30 am because my husband is driving back from Nebraska. She looks at me like I am crazy. And she informs me we no longer need a triage room. And I couldn't agree more. I am beginning to think that baby boy is not going to wait until 3:30am. 

10:42pm - After another contraction we waddle on down to my labor & delivery room. Monitors are attached. Cervix checked. IV started (for +GBS). Doctor informed. I am 5 cm and 100% effaced...maybe a little lip?! Contractions are 2 minutes apart. Not what I wanted to hear. 

I spent some time laboring in bed. Then I moved to the birth ball. Neither of which are terribly comfortable but not unbearable either. Between contractions my mom and I chat. During contractions I close my eyes and pray the labor will sloooow down. 

The on call doctor comes in. I inform her of my plan to not deliver until after 3:30am. She too looks at me as though I am a bit crazy. I ask her if an epidural will buy me time. She said yes...a few minutes during pushing. Not the HOURS that I want. I opt out of the epidural. 

Wait for IV to finish so I can get in the tub. 

11:34pm - I call my friend and ask her to pray for my labor to go slooow. 

11:47pm - I get in the tub (after promising my nurse I would NOT deliver in the tub). I am finally in my happy labor place. I call Joe. It goes straight to voicemail. 

11:49pm - I call Joe again. Again straight to voicemail. 

11:51pm - Feeling like I really need to talk to Joe about his interview that he will miss in the morning I text him...

11:54pm - Joe calls me back. And I am beyond excited to hear his voice. I inform him I am in my happy place. And in the next breath I am screaming that I can't do this....because just.like.that the pressure with each contraction became too much....

My mom calls for my nurse. Nurse enters the room and hears my screams and immediately requests a delivery tray and the doctor.  I ask to be checked. She tells me I have to get out of the tub first. 

And now because everyone loves a good cliffhanger AND this is getting a bit long I will stop here. 

To be continued...

LJ

Welcome to the family Levi Joseph. I can promise you one thing...it's going to be crazy and loud and probably a bit overwhelming. But I think you will like it. We all love you already. Thank you for joining us (a bit early...and a bit fast!). This family of six thing...it's gonna be good. Trust me. 

02-08-2015

I have reached one of my favorite end-of-pregnancy milestones...

The expiration date on the milk I bought this weekend is one day AFTER my due date! Clearly that is significant. Or at least it is in my crazy little mind. It's a "milestone" I have looked forward to with each of my pregnancies and it felt like it might never come this time. But alas it did! The proof is in our fridge right now. 

More significant is the fact that we are (mostly) physically ready for this baby to arrive. We have a fully stocked changing table - including teeny tiny clothes and sleepers, blankets, diapers, wipes, burp cloths, pacifiers, nursing supplies and more! The bassinet & swing are out and ready for use. I wrestled with the carseat straps and buckles and the seats themselves and WON! We now have four seats installed in our van. FOUR SEATS! (Although admittedly I am kinda dreading having 3 kids in 5 point harnesses...we will only be going on absolutely necessary drives after baby arrives!) And most importantly Joe is home (as are my parents). Oh and we toured the hospital's labor & delivery floor last week - not nearly as important, but I like to see ahead of time where I will be delivering. It may seem unnecessary as this is my fourth baby/fourth delivery BUT it is also my fourth hospital I have delivered at! (Also coincidentally the fourth state. See below for details.)  So yea, I just like to take a peak ahead of time. It helps me feel ready. 

Speaking of feelings. I had forgotten what a mental battle the end of pregnancy can be! Ack. Let's just say I am emotionally labile these days. Physically I feel fine. Pretty good actually. But the not knowing WHEN this baby is going to arrive is driving me crazy. I WANT TO KNOW how much longer I will be pregnant. And since I don't know I just want to hibernate until labor starts. Which is obviously not a healthy course of action - despite the fact that I am spoiled with having Joe home (taking an online course only) so I could in theory hide away all day. And maybe I try to sometimes...maybe:)

Speaking of labor, I have been wondering lately how I am actually going to birth this child. Because I can barely make it up and down a flight of stairs without needing to stop for a rest! And anyone that has birthed a baby knows labor is A LOT more strenuous than walking stairs. My solution for this concern? Reading lots and lots and lots of birth stories on other people's blogs. At first this little activity was helpful. Encouraging actually. Which is bizarre because clearly a complete stranger's ability to birth a child has NO bearing on my ability to birth this baby. But whatever. It helped. Until it didn't. Now it just frustrates me. Because these ladies already had their babies...and I have not. Which I realize makes NO sense at all. But I'm telling you, end of pregnancy does crazy things to me! 

The girls are SO excited to meet their baby brother! They hug him and kiss him (ie my belly) ALL THE TIME. It's sweet (and slightly uncomfortable). Multiple times a day Hannah will run up to my belly and talk to baby boy. Her favorite conversation is as follows:

Hannah: Baby Boy you come out?

Hannah-using-a-baby-voice: Yeah!

Hannah: Okay. (Looking up at me) Mama, baby boy come out in 2 minutes!!

Me: Okay. 

If only it were that simple and QUICK! That would be a dream come true. 

And anytime I leave the house, upon my return Hannah is genuinely disappointed that baby boy has not come out of my belly while I was gone! It's sweet & funny. Little does she know that once baby boy does come out HER world will be turned upside down and never the same again!

And now as a reward for reading all that rambling nonsense, here it is MY LAST BELLY PICTURE with my kids! I know, I know. Pregnancy is 40 weeks (on average) and I am 38 weeks in the picture. But I only take these pictures once every four weeks and I REFUSE to believe this baby boy will torture me and stay put for another four weeks. Nope. Not going to happen. FYI - he will be born in Minnesota. 

And now my previous LAST belly pictures...

39 weeks with Hannah (baby #3) - the day she was born! FYI - she was born in Illinois. 

40 weeks with Charlotte (baby #2) - a week BEFORE she was born and that belly only got BIGGER which is hard to believe! Its pretty obvious why my family called it the "torpedo belly", right? That's 9 pounds of baby PLUS excess amniotic fluid in there. I am only 5'1" so the only place it could go was straight out! And YES it was uncomfortable. FYI - she was born in Wisconsin.

38 weeks with Isaiah (baby #1) - the day he was born! Gosh I look young in this picture...and completely oblivious to the way my life was about to change forever:). FYI - he was born in North Dakota.

Apparently when I am pregnant with girls I photograph my right side and when I am pregnant with boys I photograph my left side. And I promise that was NOT planned. I am pretty OCD about pictures, but not THAT obsessive! Just a funny little coincidence.

The Match. What is it?

Since Joe is close to being done (is done?!?) with residency interview season I thought it an appropriate time for me to explain (to the best of my limited knowledge) what happens next. Because if I get asked ONE.MORE.TIME. where Joe chose to go for residency or if we know where we are moving for residency I might just explode! We DON'T KNOW!! Really we don't. 

Because here's the deal. Joe doesn't get to choose his residency location. And we don't know where we are moving for residency. It's a "MATCH" process. And we won't know anything until March 20th - MATCH DAY. 

Here is how it works (according to me, the wife of a medical student):

Step 1. Med student applies to residency programs - this is where the student has some control over the process. Joe chose to apply to emergency medicine residency programs and only in locations where we would be willing to move/can afford to live as a family of six. This happened back in mid-September. 

Step 2. Residency programs send out interview invites to applicants they are interested in. We were so thankful that Joe received many, many invites. He even rejected some interview offers! This was mid-September through the beginning of November. I was checking Joe's email multiple times a day...sometimes hourly...as interview spots fill up fast and once they are gone they are GONE.

Step 3. Med student/applicant attends interviews. Sounds simple enough. But the logistics of it all is tricky (and expensive!). Interviews consist of a casual dinner the evening before, then a half or full day interview/tour process. Joe quickly discovered that it is helpful to spend time in each programs' emergency department so when possible he has been scheduling that for the day before the interview as well. He started interviewing in October and will be done later this month. Joe's school recommends each student interviews at 15 different places and we are following their "rule".

Step 4. 

Part A. Student creates a RANK LIST. Essentially they put the programs that interviewed them in order from favorite to least favorite. Only places that actually interviewed you can be included on this list (seems obvious but we have been asked about this a few times). Again seems simple enough. But there are SO many factors to consider. This list is due end of February and I am sure we will be agonizing over it until the last possible second!

Part B. Each residency program creates a rank list of the medical students they interviewed...favorite to least favorite:) I assume these lists are also due at the end of February. 

Step 5. All rank lists are put into a computer program which uses algorithm to MATCH the programs with students. It's magical. And mysterious. And absolutely mind boggling how little control we have over this process! And the worst part is there are more medical students than there are residency spots...

Step 6. The Monday before Match Day all fourth year medical students receive an email informing them if they matched or not. It does not include information on where you matched...that comes on Friday of that week. If a student doesn't match (which happens to >3% of medical students) they then have that week to try to SOAP. Basically it's a last ditch effort to get a spot in a residency...ANY residency! I am praying we don't have to go through that process. It sounds downright dreadful. And scary.

Step 7. Match Day! On the third Friday in March at noon all across the country all fourth year medical students are given an envelope that tells them WHERE they matched. Some programs have a ceremony. Some make it a game. Others just hand you the envelope. Joe's school has a champagne reception. Baby and I plan on attending. I kinda want to know as soon as possible where we will be living for the next three years!

Ok. That's really where the match process ends. But for inquisitive minds here is the rest of the story...

Step 8. Celebrate and/or mourn your match. Accept it for what it is. Find a place to live in the new city. (For us this includes finding the best school options for our children as well because two of them will be school age next year!) 

Step 9. Graduate from medical school (beginning of June). 

Step 10. Move to new city. 

Step 11. Start residency. Official first day is July 1 but most programs have a week or two of required training beforehand. 

That about covers it. Any more questions? Did I leave something out? 

Trust me, as soon as WE know we will be telling our friends and family. We aren't trying too keep anyone out of the loop. It's just we don't know yet!