I don't like change.

(And a bunch of other whining.)

I don't like change. Especially big changes. Oh like moves and new schools and new routines. I really dislike starting over. Re-establishing our family. All of which are lurking in my not-so-distant future. It leaves me with a sense of impending doom. Especially when I am feeling content in my current circumstances. And right now I like where we are at. It seems like we have just hit our groove here. Almost three years in. Yes, I am a slow adapter. And now it's all about to change. And I don't like that. Not one little bit. 

The funny thing is, this will be our 9th (or is it our 10th?!) move in our (nearly) 11 years of marriage. One would think I would be good at this sort of thing by now. Not so much. I still dread it as much as that first move. Maybe more. 

All of this dread has left me feeling BLAH. And feeling BLAH is not conducive to being a good mother. Not to mention I have ZERO motivation to start getting us ready to move. (Unless of course you count researching moving trucks as a start. Because I did that last night instead of getting the kids ready for bed.) Not a single box has been packed yet!

And the worst part about this move is there are still so many unknowns. I know where and when we will be moving. Kind of. We will move our stuff to my in-laws' garage. Then the kids and I have a couple weeks of fun summer events planned (in Minnesota). Joe takes his board exam and then...

Well that's where the plans end. Not for a lack of trying to plan. We have tried. Joe has applied for rotations. We have dreamed and planned. Planned and dreamed. And yet we essentially know next to nothing about our schedule for the 12 months following our move. Erg. It's all these unknowns that are eating away at me. Are we going to be together as a family next summer? Or will the kids and I stay with my parents while Joe travels? I DON'T KNOW. What state will we be in in July? And August? And September? I DON'T KNOW. Blah. 

This morning I snuck away to shower (& dress) while the girls were happily playing doll house in the living room. Ten minutes later I returned to find them in the kitchen "having a snack". Yogurt. And peanut butter. And Kix. And tortilla chips. And craisins. All mixed together and slathered all over themselves and the kitchen floor! Typically I find these type of shenanigans entertaining. Under normal circumstances I would snap a picture of them and text it to Joe so he could enjoy it as well. Not so much this time. This time I was just annoyed. Annoyed that I had a mess to clean up and annoyed that I had opted not to shave my legs. Three minutes more in the bathroom wouldn't have made a difference. I would have still had a mess to deal with BUT no hairy ankles peeking out from my high-water/ankle-length/cropped pants. Blah. 

And the thing is, we have a lot of fun things to look forward to before the move. Grandma Cyndy is visiting this weekend. And Isaiah has his first chess tournament. The kids and I will spend Easter with my family. And I have a concert with friends in the city to attend! Charlotte's dance recital is next month. Oh and we have a wedding to attend (without kids!).  All good stuff. I need to focus on these things. Not the move. 

Because my life is good.

Example: our thoughtful & generous friends came and shampooed our carpets for us!

And my life is funny. 

Example: just 24 hours after the carpets were cleaned, one of my children peed on them in their sleep! 

I was going to continue to whine a bit more. Mostly about a certain stubborn and frequently screaming 20 month old. But I will save that for another time. Instead I will end with this...

Hannah's permanent marker masterpiece!

Update: I found a preschool for Charlotte for next year. Which feels really good. Yes, we still plan on traveling but at least I know one thing about our new schedule (while we are at my parents' house). The price is right and so is the location. Three afternoons a week. It will be good for her (and me) to have a little separation. Because the next year she starts kindergarten! 

the nitty gritty (of "spring" break)

We had a fabulous week. Too much too mention it all, but there are some highlights (and a few lowlights) that I just didn't want to forget. So in sequential order here they are:

• We stopped at the zoo on the way there and ate lunch with an Aardvark. Isaiah thought this was fabulous! 

Part rat. Part pig. (According to Isaiah)

 

• Hannah was far less impressed. Which meant she stayed in her stroller for the duration of the zoo expedition. This arrangements was just fine by this outnumbered and weary traveling mama.

 

 

• Eventually we made it to our destination. I was thrilled to be there! So were the big kids. Unfortunately Hannah was TERRIFIED of our friends' ferocious guard dog...and cried much of the first evening:(  In theory dogs are Hannah's favorite animal. Not so much in reality.

 

• We moms treated ourselves to crafting and playing cards (and a few snacks) after the kids went to bed each night. And this time we made something for ourselves. EARRINGS. Oh and we talked baby names. My favorite subject! Seriously a perfect post kid bedtime evening in my opinion.

Aren't they fun?

Metal cutouts (ie filigree) can be found at Swanky Adornments.

(And they are super cheap and easy to make! I promise.)

• I had the opportunity to meet TWO online friends/people I stalk but do not actually know. Yes, it was awkward (at first). But FUN. And encouraging. And good. They are both married to medical residents and have walked this life I am living now. I just wish our visits had been longer. That and I wish Hannah had not thrown an entire roll of toilet paper in the (used but not flushed) toilet at McDonalds during one of the meet-ups. I could have lived without THAT experience!

• I also was able to reconnect with many real friends. That was good too. But it makes me want to move back. Like tomorrow. Which isn't happening. Charlotte's highlight of all these reconnections was my friend's fancy toilet paper. She thought it was "so pretty" with it's imprinted butterflies. So pretty she had to call me in and show me! Glad I didn't miss that detail:)

• Sleeping all together in one room can be quite an adventure. The last night there I woke to Charlotte crying for help at some time in middle of the night. The exact time? My best guess: half past dark o'clock. And most definitely too early to get up! I turned on the bedside lamp and the bulb immediately burnt out. Such a bummer. So in total darkness I stumbled to help her on the air mattress. She wasn't there. Instead I found her with her head wedged under my bed, completely stuck! I wiggled her out and re-settled her in bed. All without waking her siblings! She still claims her head was stuck under our suitcase. It wasn't. Just stuck between the tile floor and bed:) No real damage done. 

• I love THREE YEAR OLDS. They are just the cutest ever.

These picture were spontaneous.

Just a couple three year olds being adorable!

• And their creativity makes me happy. Charlotte and her partner-in-crime...errr...I mean playmate, decided his closet was an airplane and they were going to visit grandma and grandpa...as baby Jesus and his mommy. Too much cuteness!! And sweetness. 

• The last day, during our last hour (of our five day visit) Hannah decided she actually liked the dog and pet him! She was proud of herself. If only that had happened sooner in the week! That would have been helpful.

• On the way home I missed the exit to avoid the tollways (because a certain boy child of mine was whining for MORE FOOD and I wasn't paying attention to the road). When I was paying the toll ($2.80!!!) Charlotte asked what I was doing. I tried my best to explain the (ridiculous) system. In the end I told her it was like a ride at an amusement park and she better enjoy it!  She wasn't impressed. And neither was I when I had to pay another 90¢ to exit!

She did however entertain me with knock knock jokes. 

C: Knock Knock. 

Me: Who's there?

C: Tree. 

Me: Tree who?

C: Aren't you glad you didn't go to the grocery store? (Uncontrollable 3 year old laughter here.) 

Me:

Isaiah: That doesn't even make sense! Charlotte why are you laughing? It isn't even funny. 

C: (continues to laugh)

• Oh and that snow that was in the forecast? It arrived the morning we were making our departure. Ugh. I was sad to leave friends but happy to leave the snow behind. 

• Joe did a great job of buckling down and being the studious med student while we were gone. I just wish he had taken a break to scrub our filthy floors! Maybe next time:) However I was pleasantly surprised to discover how little dirty laundry he produced while we were gone. 5 undershirts. 5 pairs of socks. 5 pairs of underwear. That's it. Surgery has its perks. Mainly less laundry for me!

Today we decided to forgo naps and visited daddy on L&D.

Sugar was a good substitute for sleep until this evening.

Then we all fell apart...

Spring Break!

The kids and I busted out on our own for the week! We escaped our cold and gloomy spring...for the cold, gloomy and snowy spring in Minnesota! The forecasts is predicting 2-4 inches of snow over the next 2 days. Ha. So much for a sunny spring break.

But we couldn't care less about the less than ideal weather because we are hanging out with our best friends all week!! Weather be darned, we are having FUN. These people graciously opened their home to us with very little notice for an entire week. Those are some good friends.

And since our grand arrival* on Monday evening we have been having a great time. Celebrating Easter (a tad early), eating like kings and queens, crafting, chatting, playing, playing and more playing. Plus trying to get a little sleep too (but there is just isn't enough time in the day for that). Spending time with these people, my people, feels so right. They know me and love me (and my sometimes ornery children). The kids are having a blast, but I think I am the one benefiting the most from this break from our regular life. I mean I am still feeding, bathing, dressing, and caring for my children of course but alongside friends it just seems...better! Enough prattle. Here are a few snapshots from our trip thus far:

Joe of course is back home holding down the fort, learning about gyn surgery and studying like a good medical student. He gets to have all the fun. Lucky guy.



*It was grand but not in a good way. I had two crying inconsolable girls on my hands...our friends probably regretted opening their home to us, but they acted like it was completely normal and made us feel completely welcome despite our atrocious behavior.

Star Performers

I am going with the "better late than never" philosophy today. Bear with me.

A few weeks ago (maybe a month ago?!) our church had another 'Family Fusion' event. It was the annual pizza and talent show night! We attended of course. But what is more shocking is that our two big kids performed in the show. This is shocking for a couple of reasons. First we aren't a very talented family. At least not in the talent show type of talent. But our church is very generous with their definition of "talent" so we qualified to perform. Second, Isaiah has never been one to like to get up in front of big crowds and perform, so we (wrongly) assumed Charlotte would feel the same way. We thought it would be painful to get them to participate. WRONG! Both kids loved being star performers.

Given the right subject Isaiah is more than willing to go on stage and be the center of attention...

 

 

His subject/talent was building Hero Factory guys. His own creations of course. The one he was showing on stage could transform from guy to spider to plane. And Isaiah took his sweet time showing it off...maybe too much time:) But our pastor was too kind and did NOT cut him off. On the screen (pictured above) was the video Joe created of Isaiah creating his guy. It turned out great and allowed Isaiah to truly demonstrate his talent. A sped up version of his talent that is.

 

 

During the intermission the kids had a great time singing and dancing to the live music.



And then it was Charlotte's turn to perform! This girl was EXCITED!!! She had practiced all week (with daddy). But the night of the performance she informed us that she would be going on the stage by herself. And she did. They called her name and the girl ran onto stage.

 



And then all by herself (without any music) she sang the cutest preschool version of "Jesus Loves the Children" I have ever heard in my entire life. The crowd loved her. But what's not to love? A three year old dressed head to toe in pink belting out "...all the little children of the world. Red, black and white. They are precious in His sight...". Yep. Cutest star performer of the night (in my non-humble, completely biased opinion).  Afterwards Charlotte was reliving the entire experience by describing the evening to me. She informed me that when it was finally her turn she "was soooo excitement!" And again I didn't correct her verbage, because three year old speak is too cute just the way it is.

 

Little sister tried to steal the show during the closing ceremony by going up on stage, but daddy kept her in line.

A few nights ago the kids decided to give Joe and I an exclusive (and very unique!) super hero show at home....

HYSTERICAL! I am not sure which show I enjoyed more. Both were good (cheap) entertainment. They are all star performers in my book.

Not much happening around here. I have spent much of the last 3 days parked on my sofa trying really hard to convince myself that I need to A) get up and B) get dressed. Since I am not a very persuasive person I will probably spend much of today the same way. These new sweatpants of mine are just too comfy and warm and I did not sleep enough at quilt retreat. Isaiah did enjoy the fact that I wore my pajamas ALL DAY on his school's pajama day. I am just that cool! Clearly, reintegration to life as a mom is going swimmingly. I best never leave for an entire week or I risk becoming completely incompetent!

Princesses and heroes continue to battle in our home. As do their masters.  

And this girl continues to ask for "Dada?" at least every 5 minutes from the moment she wakes in the morning until the moment he returns in the evening - which of course is her favorite moment of the day. (Mine too!) 

As the always-present-but-not-favored parent her seemingly endless requests for her favorite parent get a bit redundant and tiresome. How many times a day can I say "Dada is at the hospital"? Oh. About a bajillion! And she seems genuinely surprised by my answer every single time. 

But not to be outdone in the hurting mommy's feelings department, Charlotte informed me yesterday that I am "almost a grandma!" She thought this was good news. I disagreed. Strongly. 

Speech has also been happening. And sowly but surely we are seeing progress. Hannah has added two words to her limited vocabulary: dirty (in reference to the state of my van floor!) and eat (used when she wants to eat. Obviously.)

Charlotte has taken the role of apprentice speech therapist very seriously. At night after we tuck the girls into bed, we can hear Charlotte saying "Hannah say ____" and Hannah attempting to repeat after her big sister. It's sweet. And helping the speech situation (hopefully). Charlotte recently informed me that when she grows up she wants to be "a speech". I assume she means speech therapist, which I think is a great idea. 

Anything else? Oh yeah, the man of the house has started a new rotation...

Bahahaha! Should be interesting. Poor guy is not looking forward to the next six weeks at all! I on the other hand can't wait for the fun dinner conversations we will be having. (Yes our poor children already hear way too much medical stuff.)  But some of the stories might have to be saved for after all the little ears are tucked in bed.

And just for kicks. One last picture. Last week before heading out of town I took Isaiah on my last minute errands. As we were walking up to Target Isaiah informed me that "sometimes I just want to hug that ball". 

Me too Isaiah. Me too. But I wouldn't look nearly as cute as you doing it:)