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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

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Looky. Looky. I got a new van!!! Ok. Not a brand new van. But new to me. 



I've only been dreaming about this day for the last 1,882 days. And yes it's just as wonderful as I thought it would be!!! 

The car salesman told me before I drove it off the lot tonight that "it's basically like driving your couch" which I thought was perfect since I like to live out of my vehicles. I think me and this van are going to get along quite nicely. And if all goes well I hope this a long term relationship. I know I'm committed. Call me crazy but I can (almost) picture myself dropping my kids off at college in this van. It's only 7 years away...


Ok. But back to the present because my heart can hardly handle the idea of my babies in college. I'm not gonna lie I'm feeling pretty fancy in this new ride of mine with its leather seats and back-up camera and all sorts of other bells and whistles that I have NO idea how to use yet. But more than that I'm extremely grateful for a vehicle that isn't falling apart. The doors don't crumble when my children touch them. And the drivers side mirror isn't duck taped on. The engine doesn't shudder or quit when I'm idling. And the radio works. It stays on the station of my choosing instead of changing at random (that was extra fun during our 5,000 mile road trip. Not!!!). And so far all the doors open and close correctly. All of which feels extremely luxurious to me. I feel safe and well cared for in this van. It might just be my new happy place. 

Sunday, September 10, 2017

First Week

We just finished the first week of school. (Should have been the second week. Thanks Harvey!) Last weekend as I was thinking about and preparing for my kids to go to school I was actually a little excited. I was dreaming about hours upon hours of just me and Levi time.  Playing with friends in the morning and naps in the afternoon all while OTHER PEOPLE would be educating my three older kids. Sounded like a dream. 


But then reality hit. Reality being my alarm goes off a little after 6am and by 6:30 the kids need to be up and getting ready so we ALL can be out the door at 7am to catch the bus for the older two. 



I am NOT a morning person. This feels painful to me. And them. Not dreamy. Not in the least. 

The first day actually went fairly well. We got a few pictures and were ON TIME. The older two jumped on the bus without hesitation while the younger two and I waved them off. Admittedly I had a lump in my throat and tears threatening to fall. What I wanted was to drive them to school and see them start their first day. But with Joe in the MICU and Hannah's school starting at the same time (and across town) that just wasn't possible. 


Next came Hannah's KINDERGARTEN drop off. (I'm in denial that my third child is old enough for kindergarten!) It was all going perfectly until I told Hannah I was leaving. She looked at me with fear in her eyes and told me "Don't go!"  I nearly lost it. I hugged her and kissed and told her to have a great day and walked away. This time the tears did fall. Hannah's teacher caught me at the door and gave me a (much needed) hug. I was emotionally and physically exhausted and it was only 8am! 


The rest of the day was a blur of grocery shopping, Levi's well-child appointment, and meetings (preparing for more meetings. Did I mention I'm one of the new co-coordinators for my church's MOPS group? Well I am. And there is so much planning involved!). I did manage to squeak in a small nap before it was time to pick up the big kids. Levi did not. (Which became the theme for the week - NO naps for Levi.) And boy am I glad I had that nap before day two because I would need it. 

The second morning of kindergarten drop off went a little something like this: Hannah woke up telling me she didn't want to go back! I had to physically dress her myself and put her in the van. Once we were parked (nearly a block from the school) she willingly hopped out of the van and walked towards the school. BUT she was cry/screaming "I don't want to go back. Don't make me go!" the entire way. By the time we reached the school entrance the tears were coming. For me. Hers had been flowing for awhile already. It was quite the entrance. I walked her to her classroom - with her screaming the entire time - helped her take off her backpack and she bolted! Literally made a run for it out the classroom and down the hall screaming the entire time. I immediately chased her - leaving Levi standing slightly dumbfounded in her class - but I was too slow to get her. Thankfully an office lady stepped out and blocked her from exiting the school. I then scooped her up and carried her back to her classroom. I plopped her in her chair. Hugged her, kissed her and peeled her arms from their death grip around my neck and walked away crying. Already dreading the rest of the week. 

I'm happy to report the rest of the week went well. No more big scenes (at least not in public). All of my kids like their teachers and are making friends. They willingly go to school each day and are happy to report the day's events to me at the end. But it's a lot. And we are tired. And I'd be lying if I said I don't miss homeschooling. Because I do. I really do. They don't. Hhhmm. So that's where we are at.